Jeans

Once I walked into a store, thinking I’d get some jeans. This sales person immediately comes up to me and offers me some help. I usually avoid getting help but the complicated size system leaves me no choice but to accept. The lady immediately picks out about 5-6 jeans to try. Between trying each pair, I’m commanded to get out of the dressing room so the lady and my mum can see how they look. The lady goes on and on about style and fashion. Noticing the look on my face, she adds:
“if you’re interested in that sort of stuff...”
“Not so much” I reply, putting it very mildly.

By the next pair of pants she has already forgotten, going on and on about how unbelievably fashionable this particular pair is. Now slightly annoyed, I very carefully let her know that I don’t really give a shit about how fashionable it is. Finally done with trying; I sigh relived, but it’s not over yet.

The lady immediately grabs the pants from my hands, keeps two of them and throws the rest of them in a pile on the table behind her. She lays the remaining two out nicely and goes:
“These two look best on you!” she smiles widely, eyes now sparkling vividly, not picking up on my unsure look. Don’t I even get to buy the pair I want?
“But... I liked one of the other ones better” I start to point at the pile, but I can’t make out the right one in the blur of blue. Suddenly unsure, I’m lost for words.
The lady look at me almost pitiful and goes, smile now back in place:
“The way I see it, these two are your only real choice.”
“But what about the...”
“Those made your calves look too long”
“But what about...”
“Those made your ankles look fat!”
“But the...”
“That one made your knees look weird!”
“But I have a syndrome, my knees are weird...”
“They are also out of style”
“But...”

The atmosphere had changed quite dramatically, probably a few sentences ago, but I am not very good at social games and it was only now that it registered with me. I’m very dizzy, I need to sit down I think.

“Trust me!” she goes, “ You don’t want to get that one. You’ll regret it.”

The warm summer day outside feels increasingly far away, as my hair stands on end. The look on her face puts me off. I suddenly notice how tall she is. I’m not sure if that was a piece of advice or a threat. Anxiously, I look nervously around and notice that people all around are watching me. If my heart hadn’t been pounding so hard in my ears, I might have heard pins drop.

“I’ll take it!”

I was almost surprised at the frantic sound of my own voice, when I had not expected to hear it at all. I reached out and grabbed one of the pants she had picked out. Having magically appeared in my hand, I swear I could feel my credit card tremble when I looked at the price, but it would just have to do. No one messes with the Fashion, not even me.

Looking back and remembering my own reflection I can see now that she was right: